he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Semen is not good for contacts.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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