My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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