i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
home. puking in laundry basket.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
