So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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