I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
