His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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