any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
