so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
