there's paper in my vomit.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
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All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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