it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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