Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
