I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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