I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize