Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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