I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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