so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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