Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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