Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
