i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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