just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
