Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
