Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize