ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
