Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
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why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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