Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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