i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
