There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
