I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
