I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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