Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
