Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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