eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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