Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
