Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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