Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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