He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
