A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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