all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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