there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
