dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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