shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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