Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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