TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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