Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
