I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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