Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
