we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
