if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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