it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
