my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize