Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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