proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
