she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
