aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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