Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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