keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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