Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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