i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
