i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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